I didn't write anything for a while because I didn't have time. Last quarter was the busiest I've ever been with pre-med commitments and hard classes, and any blog-updating aspirations took a backseat -- alongside 750 words and music.
Then when I hadn't written for a while, I felt like it had to be good because it had to have all the importance of 4 months instead of a couple weeks. On top of that, I sent out a few support letters and referenced this blog in the letters, which means that this blog now carries the weight of keeping people who are invested in God's work updated about how that work is playing out in my life.
Let's talk about support.
I know I'm definitely not alone in this, but support-raising is one of my biggest fears. There are probably a host of minor factors making me uncomfortable with it, but I'm aware of at least two main reasons:
1) I really want to be financially independent, and most of the time I can pretend like I am (and that I'm not living off of government grants). Support-raising highlights my inadequacy.
2) I don't stay in frequent contact with the people who I'm asking to support this trip, and my financial inability didn't come up in regular conversation. I specifically made contact with people who I only get to talk to a few times a year and the only reason for this contact was to ask them to give their money (that they've put time and effort into earning) to support my missions trip. I'm scared that they're going to think I'm needy and greedy, and that I only ever talk to them when I need something. I'm so self-centered -- so quick to forget that these supporters are giving to God, not to me.
These fears were paralyzing enough to drive me to forego support-raising for the trip I did last year. That trip looked different from the one this year because there was the opportunity to work during the summer, so I was sure I would make enough to cover the trip without a problem. But if other students on the project and some friends hadn't chipped in to cover me, I wouldn't have been able to pay for the trip.
Humbling.
This year the trip is different because it's a 4 week jaunt to a Middle Eastern country to talk to university students about Jesus. There won't be any chance to get a job before or during the trip and the airfare means a price hike from last year's trip. I couldn't come close to covering the trip on my own. Ugh.
To which end, I sent out a few support letters last Monday. And I've been knocked off my feet by how generous my friends and family are.
Honestly, I'm floored by how quickly people have responded and how generously they're giving. They're modeling selfless devotion to God's work in a way I can't even picture myself doing.
Thanks, everyone who already gave. Thanks, those of you who have already started praying that the trip would go well or who have written me encouraging notes. Your support (in prayers, money or encouraging words) is blowing me away and I couldn't be more grateful to have the family and friends that I do.
Thank you.
That was the main thing I wanted to say, but while I'm here I figure I might as well share some life updates.
1) The pre-med gig is still chugging along. I took the MCAT on April 4th and will get my score around May 5th or so. Assuming the score's high enough, I will be preparing my medical school application to submit in early June. If it isn't high enough, I'll begin investigating fast food chain managerial positions. But actually, at this point a low score would rock the boat so.. I will let you know how things go!
2) In light of my medical aspirations, my pre-medical adviser suggested that I start volunteering at a hospital and finding doctor shadowing opportunities to get at least a fraction of the experiences my pre-med competitors will be touting on their applications. I've been volunteering at a hospital that's a 20-minute bike ride away this quarter, and will have a couple doctor shadowing experiences under my belt by the end of the month. So far, so good. I've gotten to see some nakedness and some gross stuff and it's gone okay.
3) I'm only taking 3 classes instead of the usual 4 this quarter which means that my workload is substantially diminished. On top of that, one of my classes is an anatomy lab at the Field Museum which means that between relatively dry lectures we get to cut up sharks. The biology major is finally paying off.
4) I got to talk at Cru's large group meeting last night about how I'm all full of myself and proud of the things I can do, and how that doesn't matter to God at all because his gift of salvation is free. Then some people told me they liked my story and I felt proud of how well my talk went. Clear evidence that I'm far from a finished product.
5) I spent Spring Break in Florida with Cru talking about Jesus on the beach. It was similar to last year's trip but with more people and more fun, which is saying something because last year's trip was a blast.
6) Winter quarter was the worst, but I think I already said that. I didn't have time for my hobbies and I feel like I'm just now emerging from a cavern of stress and studying. I have time to journal and play guitar again and it feels really good.
7) My parents are coming back to America soon! Dad will be here in a few weeks, with mom and the bros following a few weeks later. Feels totally surreal already and there's still a lot of time left.
8) Okay, I think that's everything. Thanks for reading, if you read this. Now that I have 100X more free time I'm going to be blogging all the time (just kidding, volunteering and Cru commitments are leeching my excess hours). But I will fo real be blogging more than once every four months and I will blog about trivial things instead of money and stress and four month summaries of my life.
Okay!
Then when I hadn't written for a while, I felt like it had to be good because it had to have all the importance of 4 months instead of a couple weeks. On top of that, I sent out a few support letters and referenced this blog in the letters, which means that this blog now carries the weight of keeping people who are invested in God's work updated about how that work is playing out in my life.
Let's talk about support.
I know I'm definitely not alone in this, but support-raising is one of my biggest fears. There are probably a host of minor factors making me uncomfortable with it, but I'm aware of at least two main reasons:
1) I really want to be financially independent, and most of the time I can pretend like I am (and that I'm not living off of government grants). Support-raising highlights my inadequacy.
2) I don't stay in frequent contact with the people who I'm asking to support this trip, and my financial inability didn't come up in regular conversation. I specifically made contact with people who I only get to talk to a few times a year and the only reason for this contact was to ask them to give their money (that they've put time and effort into earning) to support my missions trip. I'm scared that they're going to think I'm needy and greedy, and that I only ever talk to them when I need something. I'm so self-centered -- so quick to forget that these supporters are giving to God, not to me.
These fears were paralyzing enough to drive me to forego support-raising for the trip I did last year. That trip looked different from the one this year because there was the opportunity to work during the summer, so I was sure I would make enough to cover the trip without a problem. But if other students on the project and some friends hadn't chipped in to cover me, I wouldn't have been able to pay for the trip.
Humbling.
This year the trip is different because it's a 4 week jaunt to a Middle Eastern country to talk to university students about Jesus. There won't be any chance to get a job before or during the trip and the airfare means a price hike from last year's trip. I couldn't come close to covering the trip on my own. Ugh.
To which end, I sent out a few support letters last Monday. And I've been knocked off my feet by how generous my friends and family are.
Honestly, I'm floored by how quickly people have responded and how generously they're giving. They're modeling selfless devotion to God's work in a way I can't even picture myself doing.
Thanks, everyone who already gave. Thanks, those of you who have already started praying that the trip would go well or who have written me encouraging notes. Your support (in prayers, money or encouraging words) is blowing me away and I couldn't be more grateful to have the family and friends that I do.
Thank you.
That was the main thing I wanted to say, but while I'm here I figure I might as well share some life updates.
1) The pre-med gig is still chugging along. I took the MCAT on April 4th and will get my score around May 5th or so. Assuming the score's high enough, I will be preparing my medical school application to submit in early June. If it isn't high enough, I'll begin investigating fast food chain managerial positions. But actually, at this point a low score would rock the boat so.. I will let you know how things go!
2) In light of my medical aspirations, my pre-medical adviser suggested that I start volunteering at a hospital and finding doctor shadowing opportunities to get at least a fraction of the experiences my pre-med competitors will be touting on their applications. I've been volunteering at a hospital that's a 20-minute bike ride away this quarter, and will have a couple doctor shadowing experiences under my belt by the end of the month. So far, so good. I've gotten to see some nakedness and some gross stuff and it's gone okay.
3) I'm only taking 3 classes instead of the usual 4 this quarter which means that my workload is substantially diminished. On top of that, one of my classes is an anatomy lab at the Field Museum which means that between relatively dry lectures we get to cut up sharks. The biology major is finally paying off.
4) I got to talk at Cru's large group meeting last night about how I'm all full of myself and proud of the things I can do, and how that doesn't matter to God at all because his gift of salvation is free. Then some people told me they liked my story and I felt proud of how well my talk went. Clear evidence that I'm far from a finished product.
5) I spent Spring Break in Florida with Cru talking about Jesus on the beach. It was similar to last year's trip but with more people and more fun, which is saying something because last year's trip was a blast.
6) Winter quarter was the worst, but I think I already said that. I didn't have time for my hobbies and I feel like I'm just now emerging from a cavern of stress and studying. I have time to journal and play guitar again and it feels really good.
7) My parents are coming back to America soon! Dad will be here in a few weeks, with mom and the bros following a few weeks later. Feels totally surreal already and there's still a lot of time left.
8) Okay, I think that's everything. Thanks for reading, if you read this. Now that I have 100X more free time I'm going to be blogging all the time (just kidding, volunteering and Cru commitments are leeching my excess hours). But I will fo real be blogging more than once every four months and I will blog about trivial things instead of money and stress and four month summaries of my life.
Okay!
